When Does Avoiding Confrontation Become Enabling?
by Bizzie Gold
October 13, 2017
Sometimes we have to feel the weight of our harsh reality before we are able to truly transform. I know I had to hit rock bottom physically, emotionally and spiritually in order to make some serious life changes.
Far too often, I come across women who are so quick to play the sad victim role - "but this happened to me" "but I feel like this." Chances are, if something makes you feel angry and uncomfortable and you want to respond with BUTI - it's time to make some serious changes. I work with students all over the world to help them break free of self-destructive behaviors + emotional addiction. In almost every case, they were surrounded by friends and family who enabled them at every turn. Enabling comes in many forms. Often, we think of not hurting someone's feelings or remaining neutral as good qualities. Unfortunately, they can also be some of the WORST enabling qualities.
Think about this for 5 minutes and remember that you often hold the key to the transformation of your friends + family. If you maintain the mentality of "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all" you will surely hold your loved ones captive in their own self-Inflicted prison.
Remember, sometimes the pain that follows a confrontation with reality is enough to transform their entire world for the better. Confrontation means " a meeting face to face" not something negative. Be the mirror to others behavior so that they have the courage to be yours.